As some of you know, I've spent the last month or so in Northwest Arkansas - puttering around, getting to know a new area, soaking up fall in a different place other than Colorado (Arkansas is only just okay at fall, Colorado takes the gold there. ;)).
While here, I get to spend most of my time with my grandmother, which has been quite a treat.
I make us eggs most mornings for breakfast. We talk about the weather and the leaves and different people and how they are each day.
I get to tell her about my parents a lot, which I love.
We sit at her window and watch the cars drive by, talk about how funny cars look these days, how weird it is that most of them have 4 doors now.
We look at her old pictures and I show her mine too.
Sometimes she tells me stories of how much fun her and my Grandpa used to have, how they'd hop in a car at any hour of the night and just go.
We remind each other often of what a great man he was, how all of us kids have high standards for what a marriage should look like now, all because of them and their love for each other.
She talks about her oldest girlfriends and how she doesn't know if they're even alive anymore. I tell her about my best girls too, tell her "thank you for reminding me to hold them close forever and ever and always write down their new addresses or phone numbers."
She tells me about her brothers and her parents, how terribly she misses them. She remembers her childhood every now and then - what it was like growing up on the farm, being daddys' girl.
We have that in common.
She's grateful for those memories now, the good ones that come back every now and then.
She asks me who I am everyday in one way or another. Some days she understands I'm her granddaughter, other days she just knows I'm a friendly face.
No matter what she thinks, she's happy to have company and I'm happy to have her happy.
We get to know each other over and over a little bit each and everyday.
Somedays I'm successful in getting her to go outside with me too.
Sometimes we just go for a drive to get her out of the house. Or to the lake or recycling center, or end up at a park or the grocery store for more ice cream.
Grandma and I eat a lot of ice cream.
Today I took her to a park right by her house. I walked her dog down the street a ways as she stood and watched us. At one point when I looked back at her, she was looking up at the enormous, beautiful oak trees filling the sky. The wind blowing down the yellow leaves on us, the weather was perfect - a chilly, fall crisp in the air but the sun shining bright.
She looked extra small and her face was in awe - silent wonderment.
like the beauty of this massive tree stopped her and stole all of her attention.
For a moment, she forgot about me - she stopped worrying about her dog or where her purse was. She focused in on the tree and all it had to offer and looked completely fascinated at this enormous, beautiful thing in front of her.
Alzheimer's, at the very least, makes a person slow down, slowing down others around them too - all of the sudden there's time and reason to stop and notice the simple, now "new-to-you" things, despite how often you've seen it before.
recognizing life's beauty over and over and over again.
She slows down and she slows me down with her, just by being in awe - by being curious.
While I wish I could give her all of her memories back and take away this awful disease, she is continuously teaching me to enjoy the little stuff, which I think she'd be very happy about.
each day here looks quite similar, but I seem to be learning something new everyday.
today's reminder to slow down and enjoy the view, even if you see it everyday, was a good one.
thanks for being a great teacher, grandma. ;)
xo
