You guys.
This summer changed me.
Not only physically (hello nose ring & chopped hair!) but also mentally, emotionally, spiritually and all of the other above.
But I just don't know how to talk about it.
I want to share about my time in Italy and Greece with Rachel - tell you about drinking with the locals, running around the city of Rome at night when all the tourists are gone. And about all the fun we had ATVing around Santorini in our swimsuits, swimming in volcanos' natural hot springs, drinking unlimited wine on a catamaran, making new friends and watching a gorgeous Greek sunset.
I want to post each and every one of the pictures of Switzerland, the most beautiful country I've been to yet. and tell you what it was like to travel with my parents, how spontaneous and "go-with-the-flow" they were with me, how proud they were of me that my french came out and how good it felt to not have those 6 years of French go completely to waste.
OOOHHH I want to share it all, I really do. but I don't know how.
I want to tell you how much that shooting incident affected me, while still small in the grand scheme of things, it turned huge in my world. I want to tell you jumpy it made me and brought on new, intense triggers for quite some time. It made me want to spend every single second with loved ones, embracing them as much as possible, because tomorrow isn't ever promised for any of us. Whether that means something as permanent as death, or a falling out or a goodbye, it reminded me of the importance of being in the now.
I want to tell you how my time in Malawi seriously changed and impacted me, I think in at least 100 different ways, but it feels too cliche to ever say out loud.
I want to tell you about how climbing 2 more 14ers and other random tough hikes throughout this summer made me feel like a BOSS, accompanied with other emotions about what our bodies are capable of doing...and about camping/being outdoorsy, what feelings of independence and NEW came with that.
I want to tell you about the river June, Ashley and I floated down, the conversations we had while stuck in traffic, looking at the joshua trees. I want to tell you about VIP night in Vegas, how dancing your heart out to skrillex is worth the sweat-ruined dress.
or about the time June and I got a flat tire in the middle of Nevada/nowhere in the middle of the night, how I was so determined to change that thing myself because I KNOW HOW and I'VE DONE IT BEFORE WTF! But we had to call AAA anyways and get help, even though were independent women dammit and we don't need no man! I want to tell you what that night did for me, as well as several of the following nights.
I want to open up to you about how I feel about love these days and why - how I lost another love this summer, how it's been a harder heartbreak to heal from, how much it has taught me and how I've grown from it.
I want to tell you how for the first time I think maybe ever, I think highly of myself. I found self-love - I want to tell you what it feels like, what everyday looks like for me with these new eyes, how positive self talk is the biggest game changer of them all.
I think that was the theme of my summer, the general topic of love - for our selves, others, each friendship, this earth, everything. holy cow this summer, i learned a lot.
And i just don't know how to talk about it.
