learning new

You guys. 

This summer changed me. 

Not only physically (hello nose ring & chopped hair!) but also mentally, emotionally, spiritually and all of the other above.

But I just don't know how to talk about it. 

I want to share about my time in Italy and Greece with Rachel - tell you about drinking with the locals, running around the city of Rome at night when all the tourists are gone. And about all the fun we had ATVing around Santorini in our swimsuits, swimming in volcanos' natural hot springs, drinking unlimited wine on a catamaran, making new friends and watching a gorgeous Greek sunset. 

I want to post each and every one of the pictures of Switzerland, the most beautiful country I've been to yet. and tell you what it was like to travel with my parents, how spontaneous and "go-with-the-flow" they were with me, how proud they were of me that my french came out and how good it felt to not have those 6 years of French go completely to waste. 

OOOHHH I want to share it all, I really do. but I don't know how.

I want to tell you how much that shooting incident affected me, while still small in the grand scheme of things, it turned huge in my world. I want to tell you jumpy it made me and brought on new, intense triggers for quite some time. It made me want to spend every single second with loved ones, embracing them as much as possible, because tomorrow isn't ever promised for any of us. Whether that means something as permanent as death, or a falling out or a goodbye, it reminded me of the importance of being in the now. 

I want to tell you how my time in Malawi seriously changed and impacted me, I think in at least 100 different ways, but it feels too cliche to ever say out loud. 

I want to tell you about how climbing 2 more 14ers and other random tough hikes throughout this summer made me feel like a BOSS, accompanied with other emotions about what our bodies are capable of doing...and about camping/being outdoorsy, what feelings of independence and NEW came with that.

I want to tell you about the river June, Ashley and I floated down, the conversations we had while stuck in traffic, looking at the joshua trees. I want to tell you about VIP night in Vegas, how dancing your heart out to skrillex is worth the sweat-ruined dress.

or about the time June and I got a flat tire in the middle of Nevada/nowhere in the middle of the night, how I was so determined to change that thing myself because I KNOW HOW and I'VE DONE IT BEFORE WTF! But we had to call AAA anyways and get help, even though were independent women dammit and we don't need no man! I want to tell you what that night did for me, as well as several of the following nights. 

I want to open up to you about how I feel about love these days and why - how I lost another love this summer, how it's been a harder heartbreak to heal from, how much it has taught me and how I've grown from it. 

I want to tell you how for the first time I think maybe ever, I think highly of myself. I found self-love - I want to tell you what it feels like, what everyday looks like for me with these new eyes, how positive self talk is the biggest game changer of them all.  

I think that was the theme of my summer, the general topic of love - for our selves, others, each friendship, this earth, everything. holy cow this summer, i learned a lot. 

And i just don't know how to talk about it. 

MALAWI: part t w o - the village + pictures galore

Before Shannon and I got to see elephants, discover our love for hippos and play on paddle boards, she took me to her village. This is where I started really falling in love with Malawi and I'm hoping you'll be able to see why - I'm already wishing I could just go back and hang out with her til her service is done, buuuut that's just me :)

Shannon's village was where I got to experience all kinds of things for the first time, truly immersing me into that culture shock that was bound to happen. For example, I got to watch as Shannon picked out rocks from the uncooked rice since "it's a fancy thing" and she "only does it when she has company over." true friend right there. 

Soon after, I ate the first rock of my adult life...can't always catch 'em all. ;)

While in the village, I also...

...got to ride a bike taxi for the first and second time - and good news, I only screwed him up and made us almost fall just a few times...

...learned how to properly wear a chitenge/dress appropriately to village standards - shoulders and knees covered - typically by a chitenge or something flowy/not skin tight. Shannon told me I couldn't wear my yoga pants or leggings without a chitenge because "they ain't eva seen an ass like dat." thank you, microwave squats *heyyyy!*...

...got to see Shannon's new digs, where she has spent the whole last YEAR of her life! Her house is probably the nicest (& biggest, phew!) house in all the vill AND it has the best, most fun porch (aka the children's daily playground)...

 

...met the sweetest kids. I probably spoke a total of 3 sentences to/with them but OH the fun was had, especially with the camera. And see how fun the porch is?!...

...found the best hammock spot yet, just a super steep, hourish long hike in Shannon's "backyard!"... 

...was humbled by my privilege and opportunity often. Once occurred when we passed these sweet little girls on our hike. They were the youngest of the many people we saw, each going back and forth up the hill to get water, firewood, etc. Very few understood why we were choosing to do walk because to them - time, responsibilities, basic survival...doesn't necessarily allow for hiking just for funsies.

We stayed in Shannon's village for one full day. I met all of her new friends, each of her little friends too. I got a little taste of what it's like to live as a Peace Corps volunteer. I ate the meals she has been eating for the last year, lots of rice, eggs, AND we got tomatoes from her garden, yummy yummy...

...I peed next to a cockroach for longer than I thought I could, I asked Shannon to place a dead spider on my hand so I could not be a child and learn how to handle it (I did). All kinds of new, lemme tell ya. 

I soaked up every second while in her village - the simplicity, the frustrations, the peacefulness and silence. The pain, the hunger, the laughter, the singing and dancing. The morning cock-a-doodle-doos, the birds scratching the tin roof, the effortless, pure joy each person I met has, the view from her porch...   

needless to say, my time at Shannon's village, while brief, was special, meaningful and so.much.fun. 
all I hoped for and so much more. <3

And as if this post isn't long enough already, here are some of other pictures of her house, should you be curious. :)

^^her backyard/garden area

 ^^^ shower room on the left, chim (bathroom) on the right

^^^ glass fence around almost all of her house. safety first! 

 ^^^ hand washing station

^^^ Shannon's kitchen/nifty bucket system

^^^ kidskidskids. seeing Shannon with these cuties, interacting with them, teaching them, supporting them, laughing with them and making goofy faces...filled my heart right up, GAH. so proud of you, sweet friend. 

I could talk your ear off about my time in Malawi and add so many more pictures, so I shall cut myself off here. 
Thanks, as always, for reading. xo.