back at it again with the once a year blog post!

ooooooooooo wweeeee!!

hi!!

(if it were a vlog I was running, you'd be able to see exactly how I said that just now, and the head/hair flip too... bummer dudettes, yer missin out!)

how the heck are ya, party people!?

how's life treating you?

(I genuinely want to know, please tell me? let's catch up.)
(ps friends, that's your not-so-personal invite to CALL ME FIRST ONCE IN A WHILE OKAY! thankyouiloveyouall deeply)

I, myself, am overall fantastic!

depends on the hour, really, but mostly quite fantastic. 

but just to keep it extra real, if it's an hour of non-fantastico-ness, it's then usually filled with feelings of deep, dark depression that snuck right up on me in the middle of me minding my own damn business...usually with some anxiety and loneliness mixed in there (this place is large and having friends all over means no friends here (yet)),...and/or some good 'ol drunkenness feels...'cause let's be real - heyyyoo! but fantastic seems to always be close behind, phew!

it seems I've stepped into a weird, happy little dream by moving to California and my feelings on it are so back and forth, I can't even keep up with my own bad self, let alone keep anyone else updated.  

*oh hey there, old blog friend*

**oh yeah, I moved to California!** 

(like 2 ish months ago.)

(lolz i guess you don't look at my instagram, #areweevenfriendsanymore #gosh)

so here I am, writing to you, to me, to whoever - from my new kitchen table (it's not mine), drinking some delish red wine from my going away party (wine glass isn't mine either), eating some thai food (if you know anything about me, it's that tofu=bae), responding to a friendly request of 

"HEATHER I NEED YOU TO BLOG AGAIN!" 

my friends get me more than they even know. 

I've been wanting to write more. 

share.

talk. 

speak my truthssss in the wordy way.

express something on what this mid-20s goodness/confusion/overwhelm -ness is like for lil ol me. 

'cause I know all too well that I'm not alone in any of this, despite how easy it is to think so.
it appears that we as humans are great at isolating, taking things personally, overanalyzing...thinking we're extra extra special sauce, unlike anyone else in the way that we think, feel, dress or act. when while that may be all fine and dandy, there's a whole lot of things we don't have to experience or do alone and is probably best if we just don't! 
that's the kind of stuff I want to talk about. 

On top of that goodness, I want to share about the daily happenings, the books I'm (hardly) reading, the feels of newness/transition/pain/love/pure bliss/loss/worthiness, the random journal entries (y'all liked those it seemed!). share on the forever happening battle of self-discovery that I've found myself in - "more self-discovery for one, please!....oh wait, not right now...lemme handle this other big, super painful thing first"

bad news is...

~one year later...~

I have not yet found the words.

the good news is...

I'm trying. 

and it feels that they are coming. 

hard to say, as it seems I have no control - my favorite sentences come spewing out of me in a "I have to pull over and write this down NOW" type of way - but I get to keep trying. 
so here we are back at square one.

such a familiar little square isn't it, square one?  
lovely.

all to just say...hello. (it's me...)
(I'm in California dreaming about who we used to beee...)

jkjk

 I'm happy to be here, and I hope you are too!

having something to say.

I haven't been here in a while. 

a long while, it seems.

it feels weird - to sit here - with this blank white page staring back at me - hoping I can fill it with words. 

with feelings and thoughts. 

to sum up whatever it is I've maybe been avoiding to say. or to somehow find the words to express whatever mass amount of feelings that have been living on inside me, while this blog, this page, this space, has not. 

I've been wanting to come back here, back to this place. 

to share with you (and you and you) about whatever it is I'm able to share. 

whatever it is that keeps you coming back.

whatever it is that gets you to check up on me, either here or in real, human-to-human life, asking me if I still do this, if I still write, if i still blog. 

I've been trying to find the balance of over sharing and staying private - figuring out where it is that I fit. Knowing myself now in a different way than I have before, figuring out where this blog fits in this life of mine. 

I'm still an open book.

I still overshare.

I still sometimes turn nice, happy moments into uncomfortable, silent ones almost effortlessly and mostly very accidentally, by sharing tidbits about my job or my personal life or a feeling or thought I've had. 

I still turn on "my therapist"ness with my friends and family and other people I may interact with, far too often. 

I still call and text people when I'm thinking about them, just to say hi. 

I still write furiously in my journal.

I know I have something to say. many things, in fact. 

I just feel like I've lost my voice. 

I think it's temporary - because here I am, trying.

In the brief time that I've been away from this space, we've moved into a new year, we've gotten a new president...I've moved homes, I've driven across the country three times, I've left the country and ugly cried not wanting to come back. 
I've narrowed down what it is I'm looking for, for the time being at least...I've gained a little muscle and more emotional strength and have gotten a face full of freckles, all which I hope will last longer than a week. I've yelled and screamed and been angry at the people close to me. I've sobbed and felt hopeless and small. 

I've watched movies and listened to new favorite songs until I've hated them. I've welcomed new people into my life and said goodbye to many toxic ones. 

I've fallen in love with yoga and how it makes me feel and clears my brain. 

I've helped move my grandma into a home and have watched my families' strength through that process. 
I've celebrated holidays with welcoming strangers and given some of my favorite, best thought out gifts to some of my favorite people. I've taken smoosh to the vet too many times -_- and have finished incredible books. 
I've held hands of people who have just had a heart attack and sat next to those who felt like they couldn't make it another day. I've watched the sunset almost nightly and looked at the stars and the moon as regularly as I can think of it. I've been awakened by the sunrise and a pink pikes peak and have had many slow-to-start mornings, my fav.

I've despised and hated men close and far from me, all while longing for the day I find a new one to love, wishing I could have someone to come home to, missing those years in my life when I did. 
I've taken and failed a really important test and have since procrastinated taking it again. I've felt used and been stalked and been afraid of my families' safety. I've felt welcome and loved with people I've met a single time.
I've climbed multiple mountains in these few months and have gone on hikes that are more beautiful than the last.

I've interviewed and applied, and applied and interviewed and have been rejected over and over and over. I've said no to some job offers and strange men too, and coffee dates with friends I used to sort of know. I've completed an incredible training that I'm anxious to put to use and have opened my own therapy practice. 
I've wanted to stop caring and to check out for moments, stop being the adult in the situation and be carless like the people around me. I've felt under qualified and belittled as well as big and important and capable of helping and initiating positive change. I've supported and been there for my upset friends, even when I needed it from them the most. 
I've slept for 2 hours a night, tossing and turning, and 14, dreaming and snuggling with smoosha. I've gotten life changing compliments and support from strangers and those I love the very most. 
I've had my perception of life flip flopped and warped and changed and tweeked and warped and changed all over again. 
I've kept putting one foot in front of the other and making the best of the tough days and moments. 
the last few months have been FULL, can you tell?

life is sooo so good lately, I've been learning and growing and taking care of myself and it's GOOD. but the hardness of it all, the brutalness and unfairness of life, still continues on.
but I refuse to surrender my days to the definition of bad - only allowing moments to do so, and not ever full days. we can know this horrible, awful stuff, whatever it may be, is happening, we can feel that in our deepest point, it can shake our soul and scare us for what's to come. we can be in that pain, that intensity and feel it...and then do something about it - even if it's just taking that next breath - that exhale - and moving forward. yes we are small but our actions can be big, much bigger than us. sulking in the sadness is only beneficial for so long. 
having bad moments doesn't have to take away the good days. life is too short for a long string of bad, in my opinion. 

and that's just life, right?
that's how it is. 

back and forth and back again.
as one of my favorite storytellers put it - it's brutiful - beautiful and brutal. 
there can still be beauty in the brutal pain - you just have to want to find it. 

this, too, shall pass, my friend, as it always seems to do <3 

Some of the Good Stuff about Alzheimer's

As some of you know, I've spent the last month or so in Northwest Arkansas - puttering around, getting to know a new area, soaking up fall in a different place other than Colorado (Arkansas is only just okay at fall, Colorado takes the gold there. ;)).

While here, I get to spend most of my time with my grandmother, which has been quite a treat. 

I make us eggs most mornings for breakfast. We talk about the weather and the leaves and different people and how they are each day. 

I get to tell her about my parents a lot, which I love. 

We sit at her window and watch the cars drive by, talk about how funny cars look these days, how weird it is that most of them have 4 doors now. 

We look at her old pictures and I show her mine too.

Sometimes she tells me stories of how much fun her and my Grandpa used to have, how they'd hop in a car at any hour of the night and just go. 

We remind each other often of what a great man he was, how all of us kids have high standards for what a marriage should look like now, all because of them and their love for each other.

She talks about her oldest girlfriends and how she doesn't know if they're even alive anymore. I tell her about my best girls too, tell her "thank you for reminding me to hold them close forever and ever and always write down their new addresses or phone numbers." 

She tells me about her brothers and her parents, how terribly she misses them. She remembers her childhood every now and then - what it was like growing up on the farm, being daddys' girl. 

We have that in common.  

She's grateful for those memories now, the good ones that come back every now and then. 

She asks me who I am everyday in one way or another. Some days she understands I'm her granddaughter, other days she just knows I'm a friendly face. 

No matter what she thinks, she's happy to have company and I'm happy to have her happy. 

We get to know each other over and over a little bit each and everyday. 

Somedays I'm successful in getting her to go outside with me too. 

Sometimes we just go for a drive to get her out of the house. Or to the lake or recycling center, or end up at a park or the grocery store for more ice cream. 

Grandma and I eat a lot of ice cream. 

Today I took her to a park right by her house. I walked her dog down the street a ways as she stood and watched us. At one point when I looked back at her, she was looking up at the enormous, beautiful oak trees filling the sky. The wind blowing down the yellow leaves on us, the weather was perfect - a chilly, fall crisp in the air but the sun shining bright.

She looked extra small and her face was in awe - silent wonderment. 

like the beauty of this massive tree stopped her and stole all of her attention. 

For a moment, she forgot about me - she stopped worrying about her dog or where her purse was. She focused in on the tree and all it had to offer and looked completely fascinated at this enormous, beautiful thing in front of her.

 Alzheimer's, at the very least, makes a person slow down, slowing down others around them too - all of the sudden there's time and reason to stop and notice the simple, now "new-to-you" things, despite how often you've seen it before.

 recognizing life's beauty over and over and over again. 

She slows down and she slows me down with her, just by being in awe - by being curious. 

 While I wish I could give her all of her memories back and take away this awful disease, she is continuously teaching me to enjoy the little stuff, which I think she'd be very happy about. 

each day here looks quite similar, but I seem to be learning something new everyday.

today's reminder to slow down and enjoy the view, even if you see it everyday, was a good one.

thanks for being a great teacher, grandma. ;)  

xo

journaled thoughts.

I'm going to go ahead and just be completely vulnerable with you here. 

my blog, my thoughts, my vulnerability. 

please just...be nice, okay? 

I've been struggling with figuring out whether or not I should share more or less, if this open-bookness lifestyle is really worth it and good for me. Up until writing this I was feeling more of the "let's work on closing yourself up and stop sharing yourself so easily, okay? okay. ready, go."  

Buuuut here I sit, about to share some of my JOURNAL with you. lolwut.

I like to think my journal is full of some pretty great "wisdom", little drunken nuggets you could say. Since I can't have each and every one of you over for dinner and have these conversations with you, here's the next best thing. 

put it on the INTERNET YEAH! 

for example, on august 29th I wrote "I LOVE YOU SELF!" 

that's pretty cool, you guys. 

let me tell you something bigbigBIG.

that self love right there, ^^^ me being able to actually write out those four words...that's brand spankin' NEW and it feels SO GOOD. I'm finally living my life in a way I believe we all should. I want you to love the hell out of yourself too, think of yourself as the most beautiful creature to ever roll out of your bed every.single.morning, raccoon eyes and all. again and again and again.

I don't think we should waste a single second not loving ourselves. 

that's what we are, beautiful creatures with feelings and emotions and thoughts and we should each be heard. 

you are never ever alone, even on your loneliest, hardest of days.

so, for no particular reason besides me just showing up and being open and feeling like today is a good day to be vulnerable...here are some things I'd like to share with you, just because. 

Spend your days doing what makes you feel like it's of great importance to your happiness. Like it's required. or recommended. for your happiness - DO IT! 

it feels good and it makes your days extra great.

--------

I'm not wearing sunscreen. It's been a few hours since I've applied any. Yet here I am, sitting on the beach, the blistering heat on me, probably burning. June is drawing our scenery next to me, we're sitting on my favorite sheets of my parents - little sailboats and planes. reminds me of them. It's beautiful here. Taylor Swift's 22 just came on. We're about to sing so loud to this song, I just know it. Life is good. 

-----

I'm so lucky to have gotten away from him now, as early as I did. She was right, this is on him. HE is the toxic one, he told me that from day one. I hope his summer helped him with that, but it's not my business anymore. I can do so much better.

When I'm ready. 

My future person will pursue me, I'll never have to question his love for me, his feelings, nada. They will be good huggers and give them often. I'll feel safe in his arms and find home there. He'll respect me and my alone time and the time with my people. He'll be my main person eventually, but he'll know he's not the only one. He'll adore my sense of adventure and push me to never stop. He'll bring out the very best of myself everyday. He'll listen when I talk, call just to say hi and bring me flowers often, even when I don't deserve them. 

------

just led myself in SUCH an amazing yoga class in my room! Had my favorite yoga mat, all my favorite goodies next to me - set intentions of healing my loss - of fort collins, my 23rd year, all the heartbreak of this summer, loss of friends, etc. trying to focus on what I will gain from the rebirth that always comes after destruction. My candles are lit, incense burning, sleepy time tea next to me too.

It was special. It's mine. 

Pink Floyd came on - wish you were here.

missing my girls.  

---------

June and I are camping with the gang in Yosemite, everyone is napping, I'm hammocking. I'm left alone with my thoughts, sober, for the first time in too long. 

Yosemite makes me think of him, I miss him more than I wish I did. 

But I know now, I'm lucky. I'm so, so lucky to have had this amazing, incredible time with such a special guy. To feel love in a new, sacred way, to have learned all kinds of important life lessons from him. Truly eye-opening and life changing relationship is what he gave me. He showed me what the best looks like and he set me free to go find it - we both knew it wasn't in each other.

and that's okay. 

You are still worthy - of love. and happiness and joy and success. 

and they will all continue to come. YOU are doing this. YOU are surrounding yourself with beautiful people and things and experiences. YOU are coming up with ideas and making connections and new relationships. YOU are saying no to assholes who don't deserve your time. You are choosing what to fill your days with, your moments, your camera, your HEAD. You're listening to your body and your heart and you're crying when you need to and you're asking for help when it's necessary. 

YOU are worthy. 

of love.

and happiness. 

and joy.

and success. 

and good food and great people. YOU are the Prius driving, bike rack, tire changing TRAVELER. you can do hard things. You've done hard things your whole life. 

You've got this.

(and so do you.)

-------------

do things that provoke conversation. and thought. 

and feelings. 

-----------
I should start a blog post that says, "how it feels to be basically basic - only sometimes but not really" and it should talk about labels and how they don't really fit so well. Why do we need to label anything? ourselves, our actions, our feelings? Why do we have to fit anything into any kind of box? I have always wanted to fit into 2 different boxes (or 7, depending on the day, the music I'm listening to...) , but they've always conflicted each other. 
I'm making a new fucking box. 
----------

Today is the day. 

Today is our trauma day. 

7 years ago today.

She's on her way over and I already feel better.

I'm so lucky to have such a friend, to know her so well and build strength for myself through her. 

grateful. so $%#*$@ grateful.

--------

We need to catch these kids YOUNG because life is too damn short to not love yourself EVERY SECOND. 

---------
Earlier this month I said to my friends, "you guys. OMG. He unfollowed me on Instagram." 
*eyerollemoji* um. What kind of life am I living where THAT is a sentence that UPSET me?! (a good one, I know that much, but STILL!) I needed help with that - that someone who once loved me to the core and dropped everything to come to me once upon a time, also dropped me on social media. 
it deeply upset me.
which upsets me. 

there's so much more to life, c'mon now. 
------------

sometimes it's best to just leave the bandaid on. You know how it got there, you know what the wound looks like, it needs healing forever more. 

Just leave the damn bandaid on and stop peeking.

--------

She died today. 

In a one car car accident. I used to know her and have sleep overs with her in high school and she died today. 

She was too young. And kind and silly and strong, so strong. I don't even know her anymore and she died today. 

Today was the day June and I felt off. I was grumpy, something just didn't feel right. For what we felt like was no reason, but it got us to safety. My grumpiness got us home. It gave us a tomorrow, it gave us a clear reason eventually, as it always does. These are life's lessons, this is how we learn. 

We go and see and move and feel and the reasons continue to reveal themselves and life just keeps getting better. 

She died today, may she rest in peace. 

At such a young age, too soon to go. She impacted so many of us, in little and big ways, and may she continue to do so.

Thanks for getting us home. 

learning new

You guys. 

This summer changed me. 

Not only physically (hello nose ring & chopped hair!) but also mentally, emotionally, spiritually and all of the other above.

But I just don't know how to talk about it. 

I want to share about my time in Italy and Greece with Rachel - tell you about drinking with the locals, running around the city of Rome at night when all the tourists are gone. And about all the fun we had ATVing around Santorini in our swimsuits, swimming in volcanos' natural hot springs, drinking unlimited wine on a catamaran, making new friends and watching a gorgeous Greek sunset. 

I want to post each and every one of the pictures of Switzerland, the most beautiful country I've been to yet. and tell you what it was like to travel with my parents, how spontaneous and "go-with-the-flow" they were with me, how proud they were of me that my french came out and how good it felt to not have those 6 years of French go completely to waste. 

OOOHHH I want to share it all, I really do. but I don't know how.

I want to tell you how much that shooting incident affected me, while still small in the grand scheme of things, it turned huge in my world. I want to tell you jumpy it made me and brought on new, intense triggers for quite some time. It made me want to spend every single second with loved ones, embracing them as much as possible, because tomorrow isn't ever promised for any of us. Whether that means something as permanent as death, or a falling out or a goodbye, it reminded me of the importance of being in the now. 

I want to tell you how my time in Malawi seriously changed and impacted me, I think in at least 100 different ways, but it feels too cliche to ever say out loud. 

I want to tell you about how climbing 2 more 14ers and other random tough hikes throughout this summer made me feel like a BOSS, accompanied with other emotions about what our bodies are capable of doing...and about camping/being outdoorsy, what feelings of independence and NEW came with that.

I want to tell you about the river June, Ashley and I floated down, the conversations we had while stuck in traffic, looking at the joshua trees. I want to tell you about VIP night in Vegas, how dancing your heart out to skrillex is worth the sweat-ruined dress.

or about the time June and I got a flat tire in the middle of Nevada/nowhere in the middle of the night, how I was so determined to change that thing myself because I KNOW HOW and I'VE DONE IT BEFORE WTF! But we had to call AAA anyways and get help, even though were independent women dammit and we don't need no man! I want to tell you what that night did for me, as well as several of the following nights. 

I want to open up to you about how I feel about love these days and why - how I lost another love this summer, how it's been a harder heartbreak to heal from, how much it has taught me and how I've grown from it. 

I want to tell you how for the first time I think maybe ever, I think highly of myself. I found self-love - I want to tell you what it feels like, what everyday looks like for me with these new eyes, how positive self talk is the biggest game changer of them all.  

I think that was the theme of my summer, the general topic of love - for our selves, others, each friendship, this earth, everything. holy cow this summer, i learned a lot. 

And i just don't know how to talk about it. 

MALAWI: part t w o - the village + pictures galore

Before Shannon and I got to see elephants, discover our love for hippos and play on paddle boards, she took me to her village. This is where I started really falling in love with Malawi and I'm hoping you'll be able to see why - I'm already wishing I could just go back and hang out with her til her service is done, buuuut that's just me :)

Shannon's village was where I got to experience all kinds of things for the first time, truly immersing me into that culture shock that was bound to happen. For example, I got to watch as Shannon picked out rocks from the uncooked rice since "it's a fancy thing" and she "only does it when she has company over." true friend right there. 

Soon after, I ate the first rock of my adult life...can't always catch 'em all. ;)

While in the village, I also...

...got to ride a bike taxi for the first and second time - and good news, I only screwed him up and made us almost fall just a few times...

...learned how to properly wear a chitenge/dress appropriately to village standards - shoulders and knees covered - typically by a chitenge or something flowy/not skin tight. Shannon told me I couldn't wear my yoga pants or leggings without a chitenge because "they ain't eva seen an ass like dat." thank you, microwave squats *heyyyy!*...

...got to see Shannon's new digs, where she has spent the whole last YEAR of her life! Her house is probably the nicest (& biggest, phew!) house in all the vill AND it has the best, most fun porch (aka the children's daily playground)...

 

...met the sweetest kids. I probably spoke a total of 3 sentences to/with them but OH the fun was had, especially with the camera. And see how fun the porch is?!...

...found the best hammock spot yet, just a super steep, hourish long hike in Shannon's "backyard!"... 

...was humbled by my privilege and opportunity often. Once occurred when we passed these sweet little girls on our hike. They were the youngest of the many people we saw, each going back and forth up the hill to get water, firewood, etc. Very few understood why we were choosing to do walk because to them - time, responsibilities, basic survival...doesn't necessarily allow for hiking just for funsies.

We stayed in Shannon's village for one full day. I met all of her new friends, each of her little friends too. I got a little taste of what it's like to live as a Peace Corps volunteer. I ate the meals she has been eating for the last year, lots of rice, eggs, AND we got tomatoes from her garden, yummy yummy...

...I peed next to a cockroach for longer than I thought I could, I asked Shannon to place a dead spider on my hand so I could not be a child and learn how to handle it (I did). All kinds of new, lemme tell ya. 

I soaked up every second while in her village - the simplicity, the frustrations, the peacefulness and silence. The pain, the hunger, the laughter, the singing and dancing. The morning cock-a-doodle-doos, the birds scratching the tin roof, the effortless, pure joy each person I met has, the view from her porch...   

needless to say, my time at Shannon's village, while brief, was special, meaningful and so.much.fun. 
all I hoped for and so much more. <3

And as if this post isn't long enough already, here are some of other pictures of her house, should you be curious. :)

^^her backyard/garden area

 ^^^ shower room on the left, chim (bathroom) on the right

^^^ glass fence around almost all of her house. safety first! 

 ^^^ hand washing station

^^^ Shannon's kitchen/nifty bucket system

^^^ kidskidskids. seeing Shannon with these cuties, interacting with them, teaching them, supporting them, laughing with them and making goofy faces...filled my heart right up, GAH. so proud of you, sweet friend. 

I could talk your ear off about my time in Malawi and add so many more pictures, so I shall cut myself off here. 
Thanks, as always, for reading. xo. 

M A L A W I (part one)

I'm homeeeeee. My trip is over. Safe and sound. 
And now I think I'm already ready to go somewhere else! ;) 
that travel bug is reeeeal. 

My 6 weeks away was almost too good. Despite the big scare, everything seemed to work out rather well (PS - thank you, ALL - for the love and support after sharing that <3 so appreciated). Sights continued to get more and more beautiful each day, I met amazing new people, had quality time with some of my favorite humans, had great conversations with even greater people, ate all kinds of different foods, tried all kinds of new things - literally everything I was hoping for and more. I start off by saying this because I can't wait to share it with you, but putting it into words/attempting to organize my 3,000+ (!!) pictures is just too overwhelming to fully wrap my head around sooo we'll just have to see how this goes!

For now - I present to you - MALAWI part o n e ! aka - the best quotes from the Africa portion of my trip - aka - MY MOST FAVORITE 2 WEEKS OF ALL TIME. I'm hoping this will give a nice little set up of what Africa is kiiind of like, as well as give me a place to put the random pictures that are still worthy of sharing. So much of my time in Malawi is hard to describe - I imagined dirt and desert and bugs and hunger and sadness and some more bugs. People who ask me about Africa say they thought same thing...so hopefully these next few posts about Malawi can give you another piece of reality looks like there. Most of the quotes below you 100% had to be there, but I'll do my best to try and explain the hilarity that was my time with Shannon in Malawi. <3 

PS - *sorry not sorry* for the insane length of this post! ----------------------------

1. "Oh hey - um. A bat just flew into your house..." This was at Shannon's house in her village, while she was cooking us eggs and rice for dinner. I was casually keeping her company and in the dusk of the evening I noticed something fly right into her kitchen. From here, all of our bat knowledge came out and only a little bit of our fear/jumpiness. We both screeched a little too loud and neither of us wanted to get that close to the buckets - BUT we learned things like bats are blind and they have to fall first before they can start flying...who knew! the pictures below are us using Shannons' kitchen bucket system for it's alternative purpose - bat capture and getting it outside...and having much success!

2."Ooh I think I just ate a spider leg with that edamame." This is something that I calmly said and laughed at afterward, while snacking on loose edamame from Shannon's backpack. I know, who am I - being so okay with knowingly eating a spider?! A changed person, that's for damn sure. 

3. "Give me my iPod, we're being sold." Malawian transport summed up in a single sentence. From mini buses, to big buses, to tuk-tuks, bike taxis and hitchhiking...disorganized, but oddly very functional chaos. This cannot be further explained, you will just have to go there to see for yourself - buuuut make sure you have Shannon with you, it's very confusing and sometimes they sell you to other minibuses and it's good to know what that actually means. but, good news - the buses stop often and you can get snacks from people on the side of the road! like lollipops, grilled corn, apples and samosas!

4. "Heather! you need to 'bo' them!" This was Shannon's friendly reminder on how to talk to the kids. In her village (and I think most villages in Malawi?), everyone greets everyone. To greet kids you yell, 'BO!' and they yell back, (To Shannon - "Shannonni BBOO!!" and its really cute - everyone's waving and smiling and your heart just fills right up. My afternoon and mornings with those sweet faces, watching Shannon interact with them, playing games and coloring with them - nothing. better. 

 

5. "My feet are the only ones that are nice." - this was in reference to us taking our shoes off and having our feet not smell so nice. #villagelife 

6. "I think I dreamt that we fought..." "Oh, do you feel weird about me right now?" "Extremely..." Hours spent on transport, heading from the south of the country to the north. Shannon and I did a great job at getting along splendidly, just as we expected...but when one of you has a weird dream about the other, makes for some mini awkwardness. Thank you, malaria pills, for making my dreams extra cray.

7.  "A bus for Zimbabwe?! I think we're on the wrong bus..." #africatransportproblems 

 8. "How can such a tiny thing inflict so much pain on a human being?!" Those of you who know me know that if you can see the salsa on my chip, it's too hot for me...but spice whimpy-ness aside...Malawi has these teensy tiny peppers that with a little lick of one, I kid you not, instant fire. Shannon thought it was funny to encourage me to have a bite of one each time we walked by a bush...I'm not always the best at saying no to peer pressure so, I learned about these bad boys the hard way. Props to you, Jaryt, for having a pepper pocket and including them in your meals, often. You real impressive. (sorry for the blurry pic, but LOOK HOW TINY THEY ARE!)

9. "Who needs a cigarette when you can just rip off your chest hair with a nicotine patch?!" An "example" of how PCVs (Peace Corps Volunteers) find new ways to have fun while living in Malawi. loool. Meeting Shannon's people/new friends was so so fun and each minute was filled with goofiness, laughter and great stories. PCVs are quite entertaining, lemme tell ya.

10. "Ooh, babe at 3:00, look." "The one in the hat? He looks like a child, I think he's legit like 13..." Shannon being just an okay wing woman. 

11. " You can put your legs in there?! We must go!" Dangling my feet is a highly used motivation of mine for many of my activities. One place we stayed at had a floating dock in the water, so why not paddle board out and take pictures on it!

 ^^^ those little huts (Myoka Village) are where we stayed for 3 nights while in Nhkata Bay - it was incredible. 

12. "This is what the people in jurassic park must have experienced." Shannon and I in our room at our lodge in Zambia, looking out the window as an elephant walks by. 

13. "Well that was the most expensive nap I've ever taken." Shannon and I napped on our morning safari in Zambia. A big oops, but also so SO necessary.

14. "Hm that's interesting...but back to the hippos...." While on the safari, Shannon and I discovered hippos are actually one of our favorite animals. We were oddly fascinated by them and wanted all of the hippo info possible. At one point I asked our guide, "so what else can you tell me about hippos?" And when he asked what I wanted to know, I said everything. This caused excellent entertainment throughout the safari for Shannon and I - and I'm sure only a little annoyance to all the others with us. Did you know they can stay underwater for 5-7 minutes? And they most likely do not get their bellies sunburnt when they lay outside. You're welcome. 

^^^hippos making all kinds of noises while underwater, cause they cool like that. 

15. "Come'ere chip!" this is an inside joke that goes way back...but we did call this chess piece "chip" and it was hilarious as hell. 

15. "It's so weird how comfortable I feel about mosquito nets - it's like my safe place." This became ridiculously true. I got used to the bugs pretty quick, mostly because they weren't bad at all like I assumed they would be and also because I had to. But once wrapped up in the mosquito net at night, I just told myself nothing could get me in here and all the sleep was had. 

16. "Ooh look at this shirt- it says 'Hard rock cafe, fuck it!' I think it's pronounced 'Phuket'..." thank you, secondhand secondhand stores. You're so entertaining.

<3 <3 <3